+ Ch-ch-ch-changes +
There are some changes around here. In case you couldn't tell. I know this text is hard to read. It's a transparency thing I haven't figured out.

But I stumbled through this CSS stuff all by myself! And I'm very happy with it. I'll be tweaking more soon, so bear with me. :-) Thanks.

+ Dancing Queen +
I asked Sylvia (your teacher at daycare) this morning about your dancing. This morning, you just danced around the living room, twirling in circles, bouncing your legs, arms outstreched and singing along to invisible music. I was laughing so hard I thought I'd pee myself. Heh. But I want so much to know what you're singing, so I asked her what you all sing and dance to at school so I can sing along at home. She laughed and thought it was cute that you're doing it at home. Apparently they sing LOTS of different songs and dance. She's going to make me a list. Yay!

It's things like this that really stir up my mixed feelings about daycare. Yes, okay, I admit I feel weird asking other people what my daughter knows or doesn't know. It's a little strange that there's this whole side of your life I don't participate in directly. There's a Ceili that Sylvia gets to see that I probably don't. But on the other hand, you're getting a variety of experiences that I possibly could not have provided for you. Honestly, when I was pregnant I had a near anxiety attack because it dawned on me one day that I didn't really know any nursery rhymes. Okay, I know Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (which incidentally is one of the songs you've been dancing to at school, so we're good there), and Mary Had a Little Lamb. Mmmm, yeah, that's quite the repertoire.

And did I mention the "So Big" thing? We discovered one day, quite by accident, that you've been taught this classic trick. We ask, "How big is Ceili?" And you looks at us expectantly, ready to put your hands in the air when we answer, "SOOO big!" Yeah, Daddy and I did not teach you this. It makes me wonder how many other adorable things you know how to do that we don't have a clue about.

So, on one hand I'm sad that I don't know absolutely everything about you, or about your day, I'm actually kind of excited by the fact that you have so many wonderful opportunities to learn and experience different things. I like finding out new things about you. It's like opening a present every day. Soon you'll be able to start telling me things about your day, and the presents will just get bigger and better. I guess that's what being a parent is all about. Neat.

+ A great way to spend an evening +
I MUST be PMS'ing, or having some other hormonal imbalance, considering how emotional I got last night. It's all PBS's fault. And that dang-blasted Peter, Paul and Mary.

You see, we were happily watching the dreadful American Idol garbage when the phone rang. It was Grandpa, calling for Daddy. Daddy retired to the office to talk with him so he wouldn't disturb us. Sick of watching AI, and looking for something a bit more entertaining, I decided to channel-surf a bit. When what to my wondering eyes did appear? Peter, Paul and Mary on PBS. Now, I must point out here that I have this unnatural love of PP&M. I blame that on my own mother. She came of age in the late sixties, so much of my own musical upbringing was a bit folk- and hippie-tinged. To this day, I am taken back to early childhood by certain songs by PP&M, The Beatles or Neil Diamond. I know, it's sad really.

Anyway, so there was this special. And me, with a glass of wine (okay, maybe a second glass of wine, what of it?!). And you, roaming the living room antagonizing the doggie. So they start to talk, then they start to sing. My favorites... Lemon Tree, Blowin' in the Wind, Leaving on a Jet Plane, If I Had a Hammer. And the best part of the whole damned thing?

YOU loved it.

You would stop your doggie antics as soon as a song would start, then bounce up and down if you were sitting or - get this! - walking in circles, bouncing up and down if you were standing. That's your new thing. You rotate in 3 or 4 circles, DANCING! It's craziness. On top of that? You make this talky-singy thing, singing along. OMG it's just about the cutest thing I've ever seen you do. I was actually moved to tears last night. Thank goodness Daddy was on the phone the whole hour or he would have thought me certifiable.

So, yeah, needless to say I am planning to buy some PP&M CD's since I can't find my old ones. We're going to start listening to them in the car. I can't wait to hear you actually singing along one day.

+ Sigh +
See? Now it looks like maybe she's not back. Harrumph. I was positive yesterday. There was a definite presence, and cramps from high hell (which have hung around off-and-on since), but today? No more signs. Very strange. Oh well.

+ Why, Lord, Why?! +
Yes, if I am a raving lunatic bitch this week, I have a darned good explanation. After approximately 20 months, my lovely friend Aunt Flo has graced me with her presence. If anyone needs me, I'll be curled into the fetal position on the floor, crying hysterically and cursing my own birth. Thanks.

+ Hippie check +
You had your one-year orthopedic surgeon appointment today to check those groovy hips of yours. If there is a reader around here who's new to the game, Ceili was diagnosed with Developmental Dysplasia of the Hips when she was a few weeks old and spent 12 weeks (6 full-time, 6 nights-only) in a pavlik harness to help set the hip sockets. She's had a handful of checkups since to make sure things are developing normally. So far, so good.

Today's appointment, you went with Daddy. Of course, silly Daddy did not call me to give an update. Grumble grumble. So I called him to get one myself. According to Daddy, all the Dr. did was look at the x-rays and didn't examine you himself. And he said you seemed fine, but there was something on the x-rays he didn't like and he wants to see you again in 6 months. Daddy thinks it's because you lifted your leg when the x-ray was taken and that everything is fine. I'm going to pray he's right, because I've been so relieved that you developed normally and the next steps in treatment if you haven't are just awful.

It really made me think back to the day, the moment the doctor put that harness on you for the first time. *sniff* I complained to your regular doctor later because I really felt horrible after that appointment. Here's a so-so picture of what you looked like in that harness (taken April 17, 2003):



Yeah, it pretty much sucked. We got used to it, all of us. But my heart just broke the moment he put that harness on you, and you just screamed and screamed because you couldn't understand what was happening. Combined with my 3-week post-partum emotional wreck of a self, and I pretty much cried for days. I kept saying 6 weeks was nothing, and I'd look back on it and be thankful we did something for your hips early, but I really didn't buy any of the self-talk. You know what? I was right. As emotional as I was, as sad as it was that you didn't get to wear many of your cutest outfits, or co-sleep anymore, or be held in a normal cradle hold for weeks... It really was all for the best.

Assuming it actually worked. I guess we'll find out definitively in 6 months. *sigh*

+ Added bonus +
Another added bonus of doing something - anything - different at work is meeting new people. I don't just mean friends or romantic others, of course, I mean just encountering people you might never have had a chance to meet otherwise. Pumping has been like that for me. Even though I'm done, I know the other mothers better now (hey, I know where their boobs have been!), and they're women I probably would never have met.

One of those moms wanted to do lunch "sometime." Well, that sometime was today. And guess what? I really like her. She's smart, funny, well-traveled and we have OODLES in common. I think this might be a start of a beautiful friendship!

+ Overdue update +
Well, the last week has been a fun one. Last Friday night, you fell asleep in your high chair, eating your evening snack. You stayed asleep, basically, all night. That was our last good night of sleep for a while. On Saturday, Auntie Chelle came over to play with you all day while Daddy and I helped Grandma with National History Day. When we came home, she disclosed that you'd been clingy and sleppy all day. That evening I also noticed you had a couple of strange sores on your bottom, and one near your lip. By that evening, you had a pretty good fever. You fell asleep early again, but woke up throughout the night. The fever spiked, then bounced around through the night and went down some Sunday morning.

On Sunday, we went to visit Grandpa John and Grandma Carol-Ann briefly, and took a little visit to the park (you're so good at walking now, even on grass!). By the time we got home, your fever had spiked again, and you were pretty miserable for the rest of the evening. I was pretty sure by the time we went to bed Sunday night that neither of us was going to be going anywhere except the doctor's office on Monday. Sure enough, Sunday night was a rough night, and when we woke up in the morning I made us the earliest appointment we could get to get in. Interestingly, while we waited, I noticed you had a sore on the tip of your tongue, like you'd bitten it. And your bum sores were a bit worse, and more numerous. I made a mental note to ask your doctor about the "rash."

When we went in, your temperature had gone down (thanks to Tylenol!), and was only 99.4. Incidentally, you weighed 20 lbs., 5 oz. Good big girl! We've officially broken the 20 pound threshhold. Maybe we'll turn your carseat around one of these days, though I admit I feel your safer facing backward.

Anyway, back to the story... The doctor checked your ears, which I'd thought the likely culprit of your miserableness and fever. Nope. They were fine. I mentioned that you had a rash on your bum that I wanted her to look at, and, oh, it looks like you bit her tongue this morning too. Yeah, I actually did say it just like that. The Doctor smiled and said, "Oh! No, she didn't bite her tongue. I know what this is." She took her light and shone it in your mouth, and there were a number of other sores in there too. She explained, while looking at a few other little rash spots on your elbows, hands and legs, that you probably have Coxsackie virus, also known as Hand, Foot & Mouth virus. (NOT Hoof & Mouth Disease, as much as Grandma likes to joke about it). There's no treatment for it, it just has to run its course. She said you were okay to go back to daycare when your fever was gone, though I looked it up online and you are probably still somewhat contagious as long as you have the sores.

Well, your fever never did go back up, so you went back to school on Tuesday. Your appetite has been down some since Sunday, but seems to be getting better now, finally. Salty and/or acidic things were NOT your friend. The mouth sores allegedly are fairly painful though the others probably aren't. Your legs look better, but your bum still looks pretty icky. Poor baby. You've been very cheerful about it, all things considered, though nights have been rough. You whimper and cry throughout the night, not even waking up usually. Having said that, you're waking up screaming 2-4 times each night. Until last night that is. Thank God you slept through the night last night. And you fell asleep early again too. I think your body is just working pretty hard to heal.

Anyway, we're on the mend and it sounds like adults can't get this virus, or it basically is harmless to us. I do have a very very small canker sore that I figure is probably related. Sad that you get this full-blown illness and I get a tiny canker sore. Oh well.

Yesterday you wore an adorable outfit from The Children's Place to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. It was a green one-piece shorts "Tiny Tee" with "green" written across it and a little shamrock. I so wanted to take a picture to post in here, but did I mention you fell asleep early? With two little pigtails in your hair. You were so damned cute yesterday it was painful.

Alas, those are the big updates. I'm sure there are lots of little things I'm leaving out. You're just so smart and funny (trust me, you're riotous sometimes!), I can't possibly keep up with your developments in this journal. Just snapshots in time. So, there's today's snapshot. :)

+ Pathetic +
I know. I'm horrible at updating. I'm a crummy webmom. You're doing great and I will write about you soon. I promise. What if I post a cute picture in the meantime? Will you forgive me? Really?
(BTW you had your first-ever professional photos taken on Sunday and I'll scan those in one of these days too.)
Here goes:

+ No longer a pumpin' fool +
That's right. Today I "announced" to my fellow users of the Mothers' Room here at work that I am officially no longer pumping at work. You have taken to cow's milk enough and the sippy cup somewhat so that I no longer need to be pumping, The last couple of bottles I pumped are in the freezer since I'm not sending anymore either. I don't know what I'll do with those, but I'll give them to you sometime I guess.

I'm really surprised by how sad I am about this. It's silly, really. There are a lot of great things that come with not pumping anymore, not the least of which is the resumption of wearing "normal" clothes to work. Hooray for that! But it also means you're growing up in just one more way.

But at the root of it all, I'm exceedingly proud of myself. Not only was I able to breastfeed you for more than a year (and we're still going strong!), but I was able to pump from my return at 8.5 weeks postpartum until you were a year old. When I came back to work, I had ABSOLUTELY no idea what I was doing and/or whether or not it would actually work. I freaked out about my supply and how much - or little - I was able to pump. I got kicked out of the room they sort of set up for me next door and pumped in a bathroom stall for weeks. I finally got up the nerve to do something about it, and I almost single-handedly set up a Mothers' Room here at work that is still being used full-time by 4 other mothers. I just got a note of thanks from the Director of HR for that.

And so my sadness is softened by my gratitude to myself and my company. I can take the pump home tonight, sterilize it all and box it up for storage. And I can trust that when and if the next baby comes, at least this time I know what I'm getting into. And I know I can do it.

+ How quickly a year passes (and then some) +
I'm sorry I've been so remiss in posting. Forgive me?

So, going back... You had your birthday party on 2/15. It was a blast! Unfortunately the pictures we have aren't very good. But we had a great group of family and close friends on hand to watch you eat your cake. Now, that was interesting. We were all standing around, watching you expectantly, waiting for you to just tear into the cake and make a royal mess. Only it wasn't so dramatic. In fact, at first all you did was delicately pick the little sprinkles off the top. *sigh* My fault for putting them on there to begin with! Eventually you got into the spirit a little more and you ultimately did need to be hosed off in the shower. Silly baby.

You had a doctor's appointment on your birthday. It seems every time you have a doctor's appointment, you get sick first. What's up with that? You woke up the morning of your birthday with a low-grade fever and icky cough. As a result you got no shots (Oh, NOW I see why you do that!), which is unfortunate since you didn't get any at your 9-month either since you were sick. Now you'll have to get some extras at your 15-month, and an extra shot or two at your 18-month. Silly girl. Your exactly-one-year stats were: 19 lbs., 10 oz. (30%), 30.25 inches (80%). You're right on track for your development and you basically hated the poking and prodding at the doctor, which she assured me is also right on track for your development.

After discussing it with the doctor, we decided to go ahead and start feeding you "anything." Well, not anything, but any foods I would normally have avoided for their wheat (really, gluten) ingredients. We started you off with some Gerber banana cookies, and you've had some cheesy bread and crackers since. We waited until you were feeling better to start, so it's really only been a week or so of gradual ramping-up.

But you're eating full-blown "anything" starting today. That's right, today is your first day in the One's room, where all the one-year-olds go. They have a menu and eat regular meals and snacks together. I don't need to send food for you anymore. Hurrah! So far, your poop has changed only slightly. (Sorry Reader: TMI!) It's softer and yellower, but so far no diarrhea which is what I'm really watching for. I'm keeping an eye on your temperament too, since even the doctor said marked increases in irritability can sometimes be the only initial symptom for Celiac. Hopefully this little experiment is completely uneventful. This is what I've been waiting to find out since I took a positive pregnancy test. And why I've been so militant about our personal breastfeeding experience.

Anyway, that's the news from the homefront. You went to the Highland Games on Saturday and spent some time with Uncle Chris and Mason yesterday while Grandma and I went to a movie.

OH - and you're walking like there's no stopping you. I even saw you stand from sitting on Saturday morning. *sniff* Not a baby anymore.