+ Carnivorous? +
Lookie! Vampire teeth.

+ Funny +
Oh my, this is funny. In a tragic, grody sort of way.

+ Reading +
I know you're out there, Dear Reader. Why so quiet? I know my posts of late have been, well, less than fascinating. But still... Say hi! (Michelle, you don't count.) :-P

+ Sad, but true. +
You know my pumping has really fallen off when I get terribly excited by pumping 4.25 oz. in one pumping session. Lately, I'm lucky to get 3 in my first session, then maybe 2 each for the next two. I'm hoping some of the things I've been doing are finally helping!

+ Developments +
Well, I don't know if they're developments, but there are always a few things I feel like documenting and forget. Let's see if I can remember some of them.

Your "ephelant." Your Auntie Kendra gave you a Gund pink stuffed elephant even before you were born, at my baby shower. I should point out that you got a lot of toys and stuffed animals. But you absolutely love your "ephelant." You cuddle it to sleep. Even when you are already sound asleep in my arms, when I put you in your crib you reach for it. You like your purple doggie too, almost as much. But the "ephelant" is definitely your favorite. I might have to buy another one in case it has become your "lovey" and we risk losing or injuring it without replacement.

You wave at everything. And talk to everything. You have this particular way of "speaking" that sounds like you have a story you earnestly want to tell us. Sometimes you actually sound upset that I don't understand you. I should've stayed awake in my babyspeak classes, I suppose.

Diaper changes are ridiculous. And God help whoever tries to dress you. You refuse to sit still, and will roll over, push up and try to crawl off the changing table. I may have to resort to using the bed soon which really bites because I have everything so conveniently laid out for your changing table.

You crawl fast. Not always. But when you decide to be somewhere, you get there fast. Just ask the doggie. She usually looks at you with amusement lately, expecting you to attack her at any moment.

Work beckons. I'll have more fun updates later...

+ My hospital stay +
The news is talking again about the fire at a nightclub that happened a day after you were born. While I was in the hospital recovering and getting to know you, this and the pending Iraq war were all that I saw on TV. Yeah, it was a joyous time. Thank God I had overwhelming love and joy for you to override it all.

+ Goopy stuff +
Well, the goopy eye gunk appears to be dissipating, thank God. I will have to talk to your doctor about that next time. You were cranky last night with no appetite, but I'm hoping that's related to teething. You don't have a temperature, so it was off to school this morning. Hopefully you stay there.

Unrelated, but on my mind... A girl on my team is out today. Another person on my team who spoke to her sent out an email that said the girl is out because "She lost the baby. She's been bleeding heavily and there were other complications" and so on. Now. I'm new to this team and did not know she was pregnant at all. Same is true of 5 or 6 others on this team, one of whom approached me as he was very uncomfortable by the email. Upon further investigation, she had approved of this notice being sent out.

I have very mixed feelings on this. First and foremost, I'm terribly sorry for her loss. I don't know how far along she was, but it doesn't make any difference. She's probably devastated. And I am glad that she feels close enough with her teammates that she is willing to have such personal information shared so openly. I don't think I could do that. I'm very much a self-wallower and don't share with most people I know when something has hurt me. (Ceili, you'll probably tell your therapist all about my internalization of pain someday.) And I feel bad that the new people on my team are uncomfortable knowing these kinds of details about her. It's just all-around unpleasantness.

+ Dental proof +
By the way. This is a week or so old. Kept meaning to put it up. You can't see her little vampire upper teeth, but alas. This is as good as it gets.

+ Mysteries +
I don't know what's up with you. Friday afternoon, I got called to come home because you had a fever. I cuddled you all evening and by bedtime you seemed better. Other than not sleeping particularly well all weekend, I thought whatever was ailing you was pretty much dissipating. Yesterday your eyes started getting "goopy" again, with both eyes looking like clogged tear ducts. I started using the medicine in your eyes that we still have from the first time you got this (you were five days old). It already looks much better this morning in the discharge department. But your eyes still look very red and puffy. Poor baby. You went to school this morning but admittedly didn't look very good. Your eyes were all red and puffy, and the bottom of your nose is all red and raw from me wiping your snot (which there really ISN'T much of anymore). You come by that honestly, though. That's the first clue that I'm sick - my nose turns red as Rudolph's.

Anyway... I don't know. I worry about you. I keep telling myself that's the trade-off for daycare and you'll have a healthier preschool and Kindergarten because you've been sick now. But I can't help but feel guilty for sending you back and letting you just keep getting sick. In-home daycare is always an option but I just haven't found one I like. I might be looking into this more soon. Our plan was to keep you here for a year and re-evaluate. I know you have a bond with Maria already so it may not be that easy. Who knows?

Putting more pics in her 9-12 month album tonight if I can. Otherwise it will be Wednesday. We got some REALLY cute Christmas pictures, and some nearly professional-looking ones of you and Daddy playing the piano. So sweet! Tomorrow night we're going to a mothers' group at BestFed in Mesa. You'll get to meet some new friends I hope. If we like it, we'll keep going about every other Tuesday. Fun!