+ Another Update +
A couple of small things, while you're sleeping and I'm online for the first time in a while. First, you "smiled" for the first time (and a bunch of times) last Friday night 3/21 as you were drifting off to sleep. They're not "real" smiles, but they're not gas smiles. They're the contented, true smiles that lit up your whole face (though your eyes were closed). You weren't fussing at all, so I know they weren't gassy ones. It was beautiful. Daddy and I just sat and watched you, and I can't wait until the "real" ones.

I think we found your daycare today. That is a relief. They have a waiting list, but it doesn't look like a problem. The location is great, the price is right, the people were really nice, and it's pretty small so I feel you'll get pretty personalized care. I hope you like it.

Next Monday 3/31, you and I both have doctor's appointments. I'm having trouble with a teeny-tiny part of my incision, which I hope clears up before then, but it's kind of annoying. And I'd like to find out how your hips are doing when we go in. They'll adjust your harness for your growing body, so I hope to find out we're doing okay.

Nights are getting better, amen! The last 3 nights have basically been as follows: 9:15-ish, feed you, hold you up for 20 minutes or so to settle tummy and drift to sleep. Place in cradle and jump in bed to see how quickly I can get to sleep. 2:30-ish (up to 3:00), you half-wake, hungry. Feed you, hold you up as we both get sleepy, then put you back in your cradle and sleep some more. 6:00-ish, you half-wake again. Sometimes you need a diaper change on this one, but it doesn't seem to fully wake you, thankfully. Feed you, hold you up, then back in cradle to try to get a last bit of sleep. Neither of us sleeps particularly well after that one, but we usually hang in there together until about 8 or 9. Considering how often you used to be waking me up, I'm very happy with this schedule. If I can get that 4-5 hour stretch in the beginning of the night, I can handle just about anything else. It's that first bit of sleep that seems most crucial to my mental health.

I'm still sorting out a few things, like exactly when I'll go back to work, how the pumping is going to work (we're still experimenting here, and you are still sucking too hard on the bottle and ending up puking most of the expressed breast milk), firming up daycare plans, etc. Lots of logistical stuff. Other than that, we're doing well, and I love watching as your personality starts to show more every day. And can I just tell you that you really are the most gorgeous baby I've ever personally seen? Yeah, I know, we're biased. But you really are beautiful. And don't mind me nibbling on your fingers and ears sometimes when we're playing. I made them, I can nibble on them. Heh.

+ Update +
So here's the recent update. On Friday we were basically rushed in to see a Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon because your Dr. wasn't happy with the ultrasound findings. The Orthopedic Dr. wasn't either. So, the bad news is, you're in a Pavlik harness. The good news is, you'll be in it for 6 weeks and then you should continue to have perfect hips forever. It's been rough for daddy and I to see you this way, and the first 2 days you were really not very happy about it. But fortunately you've gotten used to it, and we're starting to too. Diaper changes are tricky and there are some outfits you may never wear (they may be too small in 6 weeks, we'll see). You also won't get a tub bath again for 6 weeks, only sponge baths. That's okay. We did get a picture of you after you first tub bath a week or so ago, so that's a good thing. But it's all for a good reason, and it doesn't hurt you - nor will you ever remember it. It just hurts me to see you in this contraption. I'm grateful to God though that we were able to find out there is a potential hip problem in your left hip and we can stop it now. If they hadn't caught it even before you're 3 months old, the treatment gets much more drastic. After a year or so? It's all surgical. Yuck.

Last night, you slept most of the night in your cradle. Thank you! With the harness, it's much harder to co-sleep (much harder to breastfeed, too, but that's another story), so I've had to try to get you used to the cradle. You seem to sleep longer in there, and I seem to sleep a little better. I hope this continues. You're still growing like a weed and sometimes I worry that I don't have enough milk for you. But I really do just trust my body and believe that it will make enough for you. Your chubby rosy cheeks make me think we're doing just fine. You definitely see much better, and I can already tell you're starting to develop and observe so much more all the time. You love your bouncy chair, and it supports your legs/hips in the harness much better than lying flat, so you're in that quite often. You still sleep on me a lot during the day though (like right now). :-)

That's where we are. In 2 days, you're a month old, exactly 4 weeks. Today is St. Patrick's Day and I'd originally hoped you'd be born this day (what with your Irish Gaelic name and all). Now, I can't imagine having missed a single one of these early days with you. In the movie When Harry Met Sally, Harry tells Sally, "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." Well, that's how I felt even before I met you. And now? Well, I can't imagine it having been any other way.

+ Happy due date! +
How bizarre it is to think that, in gestational terms, I should have been pregnant through today. Weird. I can't imagine still being pregnant and not already having you in my life for the last 3+ weeks. You're so peacefully asleep right now, it's lovely. Last night, on the other hand, I was reduced to tears for I think the third time. Some nights are just so very very hard. You kept me awake for over 2 hours. That was rough. Fortunately, at the end of the night/morning, you slept quite nicely for quite a while. Today I will definitely need a nap, though. I just can't believe how different you look and act already. You are slowly becoming a real person, just tiny and innocent. It's amazing.

+ Daddy +
Your daddy is holding you right now as you're drifting off to sleep after eating, so I have full use of two hands! Yay! Well, one of my arms is kind of sore from the position I'd been holding you in, but what can I expect? Yesterday you went to Phoenix Children's Hospital (which is AWESOME!) to have a ultrasound done on your little hips to make sure they're okay. They appear to be fine, but the socket is a little "shallow." That doesn't mean anything is wrong or ever will be, but it means your pediatrician will probably just check them at every visit to make sure they're okay. Sounds good to me! I'm relieved you don't have to wear braces just because you were a stubborn breech baby. :-)

You're doing really well. Some nights are still easier than others. Last night wasn't too bad, the night before that was sheer hell, and the night before that was fabulous. Go figure. Yesterday after the hospital, we went to see a daycare, stopped for lunch and spent several hours at my work meeting all the nice people I work with. They were all so happy to see you! It was a looooong day for you, though you slept through most of the visit at work, which was nice. You were quite fussy last evening, which is probably to be expected.

My body is still working on going back to normal. I think I look pretty good. I'm already about 6 pounds less than I was pre-pregnancy (go, breastfeeding!). Pregnancy appears to be a good diet plan for me. Heh. My incision still hurts, amazingly, though not actual pain. Just achy and annoying. Hopefully that will go away soon. My breasts? Well, they just hurt. Not in a bad, I'm-doing-it-wrong way. Just achy and annoying too. We're still evening out the whole supply and demand thing, so that's just life. The search for your daycare continues. I have so many phone calls to make today, my head is reeling. Fortunately I planned ahead and made a list. I should really get started on that list now. First I must go kiss your cheeks.

+ Update +
So, hopefully I'll be able to remember everything, as I'm having to type very slowly with one hand because I'm holding you (and you just pooped in your sleep. Thanks.) You are 15 days old today. The last week just whizzed by, faster than the first. You had a doctor's appoiintment yesterday, and you weighed 6lbs, 3.25 oz, right back exactly where you started. Good girl! You're about 20.5 inches long, so we know you're growing. But you see, this doesn't surprise me considering how you eat! You're wearing me out, little one. In fact, the last few days have been very challenging as I try to keep up with you day and night. Your umbilical cord fell off last Friday, so you have a cute little healing belly button now. You're more alert every day and Daddy and I both swear that you look oddly wise for your age. The doctor pronounced you "perfect" yesterday, though you're not completely (and that's okay!). Early last week, when you were less than a week old, we found out you have/had a clogged tear duct (which allegedly is very normal). Some antibiotic ointment cleared it right up though, and your eye is back to perfect. The doctor also felt a "click" in your hip, so we're going for an ultrasound on Monday at the children's hospital to make sure it's okay. Apparently, breech females frequently have hip problems, which can easily be corrected if treated very early (in infancy). Other than that, every day is just more of the same as we try to get to know each other better. I still feel like I'm in a dream state, and can't believe you're really here!