+ Could it be? +
Could it really be that it's been over two weeks since my last update? Oh, goodness. I really must be better about this. I suppose there are some updates, most good, some not-so-good. So here we go. If I remember more, I will try to update again soon. Before you're two years old.

Sick. You were a sick sick sick little baby last week. On Sunday, you were being, well, weird. You wouldn't eat much which is very unlike you. By Monday morning you were running a mild fever. It was only 100 and you mostly seemed okay, so I gave you some Tylenol and trucked you off to school. By noon, they called and Daddy had to come get you. We got you in to the Dr. that afternoon, and your fever was 101.5. I cuddled you all evening and gave you pedialyte and lots of loving, but your fever finally spiked at 103.6 around 8. I called the nurse line, and after asking me a zillion questions, she basically told me to alternate infant tylenol and infant ibuprofen every four hours, keep you hydrated and not worry until your fever hit 105. Yowza! At 103.6, you were completely lethargic and scared the ever-living-you-know-what out of me. Then, the next morning, it was REALLY low (about 94), and slowly spiked up to 101 by noon. Daddy stayed home with you all day that day while I went to work most of the day. That night, back up to 103.3, and I wasn't sure we were going to be able to go to Seattle on Wednesday. I had backup plans in place, I'd looked up changing and/or cancelling my flights, everything.

But Wednesday, you were doing so much better, we decided to proceed. And you really were better, as it turned out. I still don't know what it was; just some nasty virus, I guess. You stayed with Grandma Laurie on Wednesday and Thursday nights, then with Grandma Carol-Ann and Grandpa John on Friday and Saturday nights. Apparently, you were very good for them and had a blast. Lots of doggie play, cuddles, and new toys (of course!). You came home from the latter home with a fabulous new walker! You're enjoying it very much at our house. To make room for it, we dismantled the swing and haven't put the pack&play back together yet. I was a little misty about the swing, like I am every time I put another outfit in your "Too Small" bag for storage. Growing so fast.

And yet, still so small. You're probably hovering around 16 pounds now. You had been plumping up, and now you're growing longer again and looking thinner all of a sudden. Might be from being sick too. :-(

There are several reasons I'm sorry we took our trip to Seattle without you. I regretted going before we ever got on the plane, but I couldn't explain why and still can't. It broke my heart to leave you and while I had fun I missed you terribly. I had to pump very frequently, and yet I still feel like my milk supply is horribly low. It probably isn't, and it's probably nearly back to normal now, but I really beat myself up about it for a few days. You're just so hungry, I find myself giving you formula sometimes after I've nursed you. And while I guess I should be glad I have it, and glad that you'll take it from me now (you used to refuse it from me), it breaks my heart at the same time. I am feeling very confused and hurt over the whole thing. I don't want to have to supplement, but I just don't make enough milk. Maybe you need more Food food.

Which is another thing... How do I know what to feed you and when and how much? Who figures these things out? I pretty much go by gut and let you lead too. But they always say to feed until the baby indicates they're not interested anymore and turns away. Yeah. Right. You've done that maybe THREE times EVER. Once you were sick and twice I was giving you peaches. Incidentally, what person, and what kind of baby doesn't like peaches? I tried twice thinking it was a fluke. Nope. You don't like peaches. Anyway, you almost NEVER turn your head from food, even well into the third container if needed!!! Yikes! Where is all this food going? You're so tiny! You're eating baby food 3 times a day, usually 1-2 containers plus rice cereal. In addition to copious quantities of milk and/or formula. Again, where is all this food going?!

You are still much more interested in standing than anything else, but it tires you out very quickly. You can crawl, that's for sure. You are starting to show interest in chasing The Doggie, much to her dismay. Heh. If you are in crawling position, you can fairly easily transfer to a sitting position, or to a kneeling position. From a kneeling position, you like to reach out for a ledge or for Mommy and Daddy's hands in order to pull up (by yourself!) into a standing position. My gosh, what happened to my tiny baby?

There's more, but I'm at work so I'll stop for now. But I have to say that the sweetest moment in recent memory came when we showed up at Grandma's to pick you up. We'd loaded everything in the car and come back to get you because you were sleeping. When we walked in, Grandma Laurie had just come down the stairs with you. You were wearing your cute green pajamas, and you were definitely at least 1/2 asleep. You blinked at us in the dim light with the MOST adorable half-smile. I put my arms out and you lifted your hands just a little so I could take you. One kiss, and you were all smiles! You were still sleepy and drowsy, and you let out these little gutteral giggles when Daddy and I both kissed you gently, over and over. It was awesome.