+ Reflections +
When you're a new mommy, time kind of flies by. Okay, there's no "kinda" about it - it flies by. And you remember snippets of those early days, when you first brought home your tiny baby, and you think you remember enough to savor it forever. Then something happens to jolt you back x-number of months (years?) and you're there again, holding your brand-newborn baby. That something happened to me last night.

You're in between diaper sizes. I bought a big box of 3's at Costco, but they're 16-plus pounds, and you were only 14/4 at the doctor 2 weeks ago. I have some 2's, but figured I should buy another package just to get through a little longer before the 3's. Well, Costco only has Huggies, and the other package of 2's were Huggies we got at your baby shower. At the store on Sunday, I bought Pampers Swaddlers because they were on sale. Yesterday I opened the package to put them in your basket.

Whooooooosh! I zoomed back 7 months, and I saw myself standing in my hospital room, then in our bedroom the night after we brought you home. It was the smell of those diapers (which I like, anyway), and it just flooded me with this rush of the emotions I had when you were first born. I remembered how excited, and tired, and truly scared I was. And how utterly full of love and wonder for you, my tiny daughter. I couldn't believe anything could be so small and so precious, and I was so afraid of not being worthy of the task of raising you. That smell just overwhelmed me. I actually had to sit down in the glider, diaper squished to my nose, and close my eyes while I tripped down memory lane.

Wow. I am not even sure this post does justice for the emotions that smell brought up. But I think it is totally fascinating that a smell can bring back things even the most recent visual memories cannot.