+ Back to reality +
One thing that struck me this weekend is this shifting sense of reality I have had lately. It reminds me of planning the wedding. I could imagine myself married, but it was the getting-there part that threw me off. This whole pregnancy, I have been enjoying every moment of it, without really focusing on the reality of labor. Yes, I can talk about it and say what I think I want, what I think I'll be flexible or firm about. But when it comes to actually imagining myself going into labor, going to the hospital, waiting painfully through the hours of labor... Well, it's just hard to visualize. Much like planning the wedding: I could plan the flowers and the music and the decorations and the vows. But actually being there, in the middle of all of my plans and dreams and having it all be reality? I truly couldn't visualize it until it was happening to me. I suppose I just remind myself that as scary as that can be, it's also wonderful. It ended up being so far beyond my imagination and basically, was a series of euphoric moments that I will treasure forever. That's the best part. All the planning is necessary to be as prepared as you can be for the absolute unknown that is to come. And here we are, waiting and planning.