+ Preemies +
I just got a call from an agent who told me a heartbreaking story about her daughter. She was pregnant with her first child and had to have an emergency C-section because of some mysterious viral infection the baby had gotten. He was miniature and everyone was told he might not live even an hour. They kept him at a different hospital from his mother, and the new grandmother had to rent breast pumps and run back and forth with milk for the baby. But now, several weeks later, he has just gone home and he is "starting to look like a very small human being." She was telling me about how she went home each night and prayed to God and accepted that He knew what he was doing and why. She said if he had to go back to Heaven, He must have a reason for it, and she had to be strong. Today the baby is doing infinitely better and everyone is blessed by his birth in the long run. It made me think so much about you and the inevitability of this miracle of life. So much is beyond our control or understanding, and yet at the end of the run (usually), there's a new beautiful life in this world. So amazing. Today I'm thinking of the miracle of you and praying for patience and understanding in whatever is to come.

+ Secrets +
Well, Baby O., our little secret is out. Folks at work don't know, and neither do the aunts/uncles, extended relatives. But the entire online blogging community could know now. Fortunately not that many people visit Mommy's site, so maybe it's still a little secret. I'm just so happy you're coming, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. Daddy bought a station wagon yesterday, with your safety in mind. He wants me to be comfortable when I'm pregnant, and he wants you and your future sibling(s) to be safe. The station wagon fills my mind with images of driving all of us to Yellowstone and pitching a tent. It's so comfortable and roomy! No news on your front, though you are making me a little more nauseous than I have been, especially in the afternoon. Most nights I can't bear the thought of dinner. Thanks. Maybe I won't have 100 pounds to get rid of that way, once you're born!

+ Growing +
So I guess we're in our 6th week of pregnancy. BabyCenter says you're about 1/4 inch long right now, and look like a tadpole! Hopefully that won't last long. I don't think I told you, but if you're a girl, we have your name. It's Caillie Morgan, though the spelling is still up for grabs. If you're a boy, we're still stuck. And twins? Well, we're just trying not to think about twins yet. Not until our first Dr. visit on August 1st. Daddy's going with me to that one, and we're really excited to learn more about you then!

I managed to stay awake until almost 9:30 last night. Of course, I was really sleepy, but that's better than the night before! You're taking a lot of energy out of me right now, but I don't mind. Do what you need to do to be healthy and strong. I'm trying to be really good. I've completely and utterly sworn off caffeine (not even cut down - stopped completely!), and of course no alcohol or tobacco. I'm eating okay, though I could be eating better. I usually eat a yogurt for breakfast, a fairly big lunch, a snack of cashews or cheese or celery with cream cheese in the afternoon, and maybe a normal dinner. We did eat dinner last night, but not the night before. My appetite is all over the board, from nauseous to ravenous! Oh, well. Just part of my changing body.

+ Feelings +
My number one feeling right now is fatigue. I sleep all the time. I fall asleep in the blink of an eye, and almost always before 9:00 p.m. This is very unlike me, but I read in one of my books that my body is working harder than it would be climbing a mountain right now. That's hard to believe, but the sleepiness seems to support it. I'm still only having the tiniest bit of nausea, which passes almost as quickly as it comes. We told your Grandma and Grandpa Devine on Saturday about you, and your Aunt Chelsie and Uncle C.R. about you on Sunday. They're all so excited you're finally coming! You will be blessed and amazed when you're old enough to realize how many wonderful family members you get to have around. It's such a joy! I'm thinking about you all the time, Baby O. Stay safe in there, and take it easy. We have a month and a half until we start to be in the clear...